My Story Part 2

Okay, back again for another installment: Days of My Life.



Where did we leave off? Oh yes... The day I found music.



Well as I said I started playing the sax in the 6th grade in Houston and that was my introduction to music. I stayed in Houston(Spring, TX actually, but close enough) until the the end of my 8th grade year. With 6 weeks left in school, my dad's company went down and we had to move once again. I was devastated about this particular move. I had good friends, a girlfriend(my first real crush, among other things), and I had the school band(by this time I was playing in the school honor band, football bleacher band, and jazz band). I begged my parents not to go, but obviously it was a must. so with 6 weeks to go in school I began going to Durant Middle School in Durant, OK population 10,000. Now for some of you, this may seem like a big town, but for a city boy from the Dallas area and Houston area, this was a huge culture shock. To top it all off, I had only 6 weeks to make friends before we entered into the ever so important high school years. My only hope was band and so i joined immediately. Now, coming from a big school, known for their music program I was immediately the talk of the band community and school really, as being the next great musician to come into the school. Also, my mother's family came from Durant and my grandmother was somewhat of a political figure for years in the town and my uncle was currently sheriff of the county. You would think that having instant buzz in the community and favor from the band directors would give me a leg up, but then you wouldn't know how smaller schools work. In smaller schools most of the kids grew up together and getting into a circle is hard enough, and now I am tagged as the kid trying to come in and steal the show. This made finding friends a little harder and made me a little more insecure. Luckily by this point, I was used to being the new guy and by the time summer rolled around and summer band marching training rolled around, I was able to find a few friends in the band that were older upper classmen and took to me pretty well. Those last 6 weeks and the summer after my eighth grade year were tough, especially considering the fact that I didn't want to be there in the first place, but this is also where I met another mentor in my life, my future high school band director, John Parnell. I will never forget walking into the band hall the first day of school in Durant and there stood my middle school band director(which is to be expected considering this was the middle school), but also the high school band director. He had come to the school just to meet me and talk with me a little. He was brash and scary looking and I was completely intimidated and yet i was immediately drawn to him. Now remember, I come from an area that the middle schools filter into 2 high schools in the area both with average graduating classes of over 1,000. I didn't even know the high school band directors name at my other school, I certainly never got a visit from him just so he could meet me and talk with me a little while. I had no clue at the time how much this man would influence my musical passion, and how much I would very much miss him after he died. So I survived the middle school years and looking back on those years I realize that music had become my "thing." I didn't realize it at the time because I was caught up in the typical middle school drama, but I realize now that starting then and carrying on even now, music and especially playing music was my solice, my hiding place. It was that one thing that was honest about me and I could take refuge there, playing my sax and no one could influence that. My music was the one place that I could set aside my insecurity about being excepted and just be me. By this point in my life, no one(except maybe my mom) knew the real person I was because I had been so good at being whoever I needed to be. It was hard, certainly at that age, to always put on a face for everyone, but that was not necessary when I played music. I guess you could say music was my best and closest friend.

And then came high school!

By the way, with a few teachers reading this, please forgive the grammatical and spelling errors. this was the one thing my english teachers used to complain about and it never got better.

to be continued..........

My Story Part 1

I have been sitting at my computer for the last 10 minutes staring at this blank screen trying to figure out what it is today that God would have me say that might give the followers of this blog some kind of insight into where I am at at this point in my journey and I was blank.

As I prayed that God would give me words to say or a story to tell that might express my current situation, a thought occurred to me. How can I expect people to understand where I am currently at in my life and in my faith and in my walk, if you haven't yet heard how I got here.
I think most of you have caught glimpses into my past, but I have really never shared with any of you my testimony. I know so much about each of you as you have been completely open about who you used to be and how you have changed, so I guess it is my turn. My prayer for you as you read this is not to feel empathy or guilt or shame for me or my past because the truth is; I have learned not only to accept who I was, but also to embrace it. My past, both the good and the bad are a part of who I am and I thank God for the triumphs in my life but even more so for the failures. If we never experience what it is like to fall, then we will never have the courage to keep walking. So I pray that God will give you an understanding through this blog of who I am and through that, I hope you would find some kind of hope in knowing that God is here. Even when you are not seeking Him. He hears you. He sees you. He loves you and he will do what it takes to change your life. He will bring you to the brink if He has too, but he will change you.

I have decided to make this a series. I will give you my story a piece at a time. Some parts may be boring to you. Heck, the whole thing may be boring to you. But continue to tune in and you may find something in this that you didn't know about me.

The juicy stuff doesn't start until high school so bear with me. I had a pretty easy go of it until that point. I had a normal childhood, never really wanted for anything. some would go as far as to say I was spoiled and that is not entirely untrue. Being the youngest of three, the only boy, and I wasn't supposed to happen, this adds up to a bit of silver spoon syndrome. I was saved when I was 8 at New Hope Baptist Church in Aubrey, TX. Truth, is I don't remember it at all except for the baptism, and the only reason I remember that is because I was terrified to be dunked under the water. I just took my mom's word for it that both her and the pastor talked to me and I seemed at the time to understand why I walked the isle(A real life changing moment, eh). I suppose it was not life changing because I never followed up on it. Not too long after that we started a series of moves that lasted until high school and so I guess we never really got settled in enough to get involved in another church. Throughout my childhood I attended 7 different schools a total of 11 different times. Yes, I know it doesn't add up. I left and came back a couple of times. I have lived in Little Elm, TX/ Durant, OK/ Omaha, NE/ Houston, TX/ Rowlette, TX and I think that is it. I know you are asking why I am telling you this. It is to preface the fact that I became quite the actor. When you are going into a new school, if you do not fit in immediately you are cast aside quickly and so I learned how to adapt to the people around me and basically become who they were, or at least someone they would like.

My life after elementary school was all about making people like me to the point that somewhere along the way I developed some pretty big self confidence issues. My entire being revolved around what people thought of me. In looking back now, the cool part about this time in my life is realizing that even though God was not a thought in my head, He still had a plan for me and intended on carrying that plan out despite my lack of hearing. Let me explain. I do not come from a musical family. In fact, other than an uncle or cousin here and there that played in a bar band one time, no one in my family plays music, sings, or can really even carry a tune very well at all. And yet, out of the blue, my 6th grade year, I told my mother that I wanted to join the band and play saxophone. She was somewhat taken back by this as was I. Remember, I have developed some self consciousness at this point and throwing myself head first into a new group of people that were doing something that I had never attempted or really had a desire to do before was not a common thing for me. None of my friends at the time were in the band and I really didn't know anyone that played an instrument. Needless to say, terrified, I went to the band director and told her that I wanted to play saxophone. At first, she said that the sax class was full but that I could play trombone. I agreed but was really bummed(I really wanted to play sax. Didn't know why, I just was drawn to that instrument). Anyway, after I had left, the band director called my mom later that day and told how she had noticed how bummed I was about not getting to play sax. She agreed to a pot for me in the class. she actually had to get it approved with the principal to do so and yet she was willing to do that without knowing me. I still play sax to this day, and it was that moment that my passion for music, that later became a passion for worshipping God, was born. I still remember the band director that saw something in me and agreed to let me into her class. Her name was Susan Eisenson. She moved to NC after I had moved away from Houston and I was never able to track her down, but I would love to someday tell her what she did for me that day and throughout the next 2 years and ask her what led her to go to the trouble for a kid she didn't know. Anyway, it is so humbling now to see that God had that day planned out from the moment I was conceived(before then actually. And he was going to make sure that on that day everything worked according to His will for my life. That was a defining day in my life that I will never forget.

to be continued.........

Now back to the inaguration

Now that the introductions have been made, let me get to my thoughts for the day.

As I turn on the TV, open the paper, check out the latest articles on Yahoo homepage, I am hit in the face at every turn with the inaguration of our next president Barrack Obama. At first, I was overcome with annoyence(is that a word) at the fact that the media insists on shoving this man, whom I did not vote for, down my throat and in my face, every moment of every day. I can still hear myself telling my wife last night, "We get it! He is the first black president in US history! Can we move on already!" and then this morning as I began to complain again, God laid a very clear message on my heart. No, we can't just move on simply because he was not our pick for president. I do not agree with this man on....well... anything really, but the fact is that tomorrow's inaguration is about more than just, the economy, healthcare, the wars, or government spending. For a few hours tomorrow the world will witness something happen in the United States that my generation has not seen for quite some time, if ever. As this man, raises his hand and places the other on the Bible, and promises before God and country to do his best to lead this great nation, the world will witness the United States stepping out once again as a leader among nations. Tomorrow, the United States will once more be able to claim, that no matter what our differences politically, we have the courage to stand together as one people, no matter our race or creed, status or cituation and proclaim to the world that we are nation founded on the principle that "all men are created equal." Today as we celebrate one of the greatest men of God in our nation's history, we are living out his dream that one day our children would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their charater. Tomorrow, we are taking the first big step in making that dream a reality.

Next week you will hear me once again moan and complain about Barrack Obama and where he is leading this country, but not tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be sitting in front of my television with my wife and small children, like so many others in this country and around the world, and I will be watching not with apathy because I do not agree with this man's political views. But rather, with a sense of overwhelming pride that the United States has reached a point in which we can once again be proud to call ourselves Americans.

God Bless

Inaguaral blog on the eve of the inaguration

What up world?

Let me introduce myself. My name is Robby. I am 30 years old. I have a beautiful wife(seriously, beautiful. I married way out of my league) and I have 2 absolutely wonderful children, 1 boy: Reid, he is 4 and 1 girl: Emery, she is 3. I live in Sherman, TX and work fulltime in Dallas, in insurance software sales(don't yawn, it pays the bills). My "real" job is as the worship pastor for the Crossroads Community Church, in Anna, TX.

Okay, enough about who I am, now let's talk about this blog thing. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. there is no real purpose for why i am blogging and I am not really organized in my thoughts. So with all that being said, I can't tell you what you are going to get out of this blog from day to day, because chances are, I don't know from day to day what my A.D.D. head is going to be thinking from one moment to the next. Basically what I am trying to tell you is, don't expect much. Just me, in all my lack of glory, trying to asign words to the thoughts in my head. It may be worship related. It may be music related. It could be Spiritual. It could be political, or even pop cultural.

For those fo you who know me well, I hope this blog will give you a glimpse of insight into how my brain operates. And for those of you who don't know me well.......well, I apologize!