Okay, so I warn you now that this post has absolutely no meaning or message to it. I simply want to give you a glimpse into the prayer life of someone with ADD. BTW- I really do have ADD. I was diagnosed when I was about 18. Yeah I know, right! A little late on the diagnosis. Had I known before then maybe I would not have felt like such an idiot because I couldn't study or focus on doing homework. To this day, I am a horrible studier. I am great at hyper focusing on memorizing, but actually studying is as foreign to me as Latin. Oh wait! I am supposed to be talking about my prayer life. Okay, so anyway. This really is just me venting and being frustrated at how hard I have to concentrate on personal prayer time with my Father. I was actually spending some quiet time with God about 15 minutes ago and it took me about 15 minutes to get my head focused so I gave up and will try again later. Maybe my brain will make a better connection then. With that being said(for no apparent reason), I want to walk you thru the thought process from the beginning of the prayer to when I gave up. Maybe you will relate to it, maybe you will feel sorry for me, maybe this will help you to understand me a little more, or maybe you will just get a kick out of laughing at my frustration. Do with it what you will.
these were my thoughts in prayer time:
I have a few minutes I think I will spend some time in prayer. (I proceed to sit at my desk, close my eyes, and take a couple of deep breathes to focus)
Father, I want to lift you up this morning and...... (singing in my head) I will lift my eyes to the maker, of the mountains I can't climb. Ooooo, good song. We should do that song Sunday. No, wait I think we just did that a few weeks ago......or did we? What key is that song in? G I think, then it goes to A. That is a cool key change. Oh crap, I am supposed to be praying!
Okay start over: Father, I want to lift you up today and just take some time to recognize You as the lord of my life...... Ooooo, I should say Psalm 131 here. How does the verse go again? oh yeah.. Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not...........oh yeah, haughty. I do not concern myself with........Crap I forgot the rest! something about not dwelling on things that are too great for me to understand. Then something else about calming myself like a child that doesn't breast feed anymore. Dang it, what am I doing? I am supposed to be praying and now I am working on memory verses. Geesh!
Okay God, where did I leave off.......? oh yeah, God I just want to let you know....... What the crud are they doing in the break room. Why are they always so loud in there!? Seriously, don't they know I am trying to pray in here. Oh Crap! I am supposed to be praying!
Okay God I am focusing on you and nothing else.........except that, I wonder if I got all the music pulled for tonight. Yes! I did. Tammie is going to make copies for me. I wonder if I should bring my keyboard tonight since we don't have Jacob? Ooooo, I could do strings on I heard the bells, I bet that would sound awesome! I need to call Tammie and tell her to bring it. (I then proceed to try and dig my phone out of my pocket). DANG IT! I am supposed to be praying! I hate it when I do this.
Okay God, Please forgive me for allowing myself to lose focus on spending time with you. God I remember someone saying that when things begin to make us lose focus during prayer to begin praying for those things. Who said that, was it Becky. I think so, but I am not sure. Hmmm, that's going to bug me. AWWWWW! I did it again! What is wrong with me!!!? Screw it! I will pray later!
Satan won!
Because now instead of spending some alone time with God. I am blogging about not spending time with Him. I know that we all do this from time to time, but I must say, being ADD, it is pretty much every time I try to focus on alone time with God. Some hours I have more patience to hyper focus myself and spend time with God, but it usually takes me at least 5 minutes to get my mind cleared enough to hear God talking back. I laugh about it most of the time, but it really does get frustrating sometimes. Maybe I should consider meds?
Friday, December 18, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Invisible Today
Hey guys! Been awhile, eh. I have been holding off on blogging until I was able to finish the "Life Story" blogs that I started, but I think I am going to put that on hold for a while. There are some really cool things that God is doing in my life right now and I just can't not share them.
The Crossroads experience today is what led me to write this blog tonight, but I will get to that later. LEt me give you a brief history about my involvement in the crossroads for you who have no idea who I am talking about. Most of you that would be reading this know that 1 year ago I finally took the leap out of the background and met with some dude I didn't know named Shawn Kemp about some church plant thing in Anna. All I knew was that a group of people I never met were starting a church and needed somebody to lead worship for them because they were getting pretty desperate, had their first preview service in like 2 weeks, and I was the last possible option, gee thanks y'all. So I meet with this guy at Taco Cabana and immediately something sparked. Now, I am not an old guy but God and I have been through enough together that I recognize when he sparks; I should follow. After meeting with Shawn, and feeding him some cheesy lines about my philosophy of worship(I'm quite sure they weren't all that inspiring) we agreed that I would simply lead the 3 preview services for them and then, well, whatever....
If you would have told me on that night that I would be where I am on this night, well, let's just say I would have suggested a very thorough psychiactric exam. You see, I have been in tears off and on all day. I am humbled. I am excited. I am awed. I am inspired and I am in love with a crazy, imperfect, love filled, group of misfits for God that call themselves the Crossroadies. For those of you that have kids, do you remember that moment when your son or daughter was about 2 or 3 and you are out in the middle of the street pushing them along on their first bike and you let go and they start peddling all by themselves. Or the first time they write their name or.... well, you get my drift. Most of you have had that moment, right? Well, today was one of those moments for me, but not with my own children. It was with my crossroadies. It happened this morning in the worship set. I began the first song of the worship set, "Heart of Worship" and as I sang the words "When the music fades and all is stripped away," God immediately says to me, "they will see me and not you." A little taken back at the sudden interuption in my flow(Imean seriously, who does God think he is interupting my worship set, GEESH!) I opened my eyes and looked out at the congregation and I immediately broke down. I mean, like, tears streaming, I almost lost it right there. As soon as I saw the people out there I knew exactly what He meant and it touched me beyond words. You get a better since of what I am talking about when you read the song lyric with what God said to me all as one phrase: "When the music fades and all is stripped away, they will see me and not you." The reason that touched me is because a very common prayer of mine is that God would make me and the band invisible so that they can focus on Him. I saw in that moment that these friends were not worshiping with me becasue it is my title and they have to because this is my portion of the service. No, rather, they are worshipping without me completely. Not one eye was on me. I wasn't worshiping for them; we were worshipping together. That gave me a freedom today that I can't explain and rarely experience this fully when I am leading worship. It is like every reservation and "sense of duty" was lifted from my spirit and I decided in that moment it was not me leading them to the throne, it was them leading me. Knowing that I did not have to "perform" to a certain level to receive thier approval allowed me to experience a closeness to God this morning in worship that I haven't felt in quite a while and it is was at the hands of my own congregation. Now, I don't know about other worship leaders, but the biggest compliment I could ever receive has nothing to do with musicianship, or quality of sound, or any of that stuff. The biggest compliment I could receive, is the day in which I can look out at the congregation and through their example, be led in to the presence of God. I became totally invisible to them today and it that was one of my proudest parent moments. In 1 short year I have gone from being confident that I wouldn't stay with this church past the preview services because church plants weren't my thing, to being completely engulfed in this thing we call the Crossroads. And in 1 short year, the Crossroads has gone from staring at me wondering if I am any good, to forgetting that I am even there(In any other evironment I would be fired for that kind of progress in my job). These folks are my friends, my family, and now, my favorite worship leaders(I would take the Crossroadies over Crowder anyday)! I love you guys with all my heart and I thank God everyday for you and your acceptance of me into your family.
P.S.- If the spelling is bad, deal with it! I am tired and going to bed.
The Crossroads experience today is what led me to write this blog tonight, but I will get to that later. LEt me give you a brief history about my involvement in the crossroads for you who have no idea who I am talking about. Most of you that would be reading this know that 1 year ago I finally took the leap out of the background and met with some dude I didn't know named Shawn Kemp about some church plant thing in Anna. All I knew was that a group of people I never met were starting a church and needed somebody to lead worship for them because they were getting pretty desperate, had their first preview service in like 2 weeks, and I was the last possible option, gee thanks y'all. So I meet with this guy at Taco Cabana and immediately something sparked. Now, I am not an old guy but God and I have been through enough together that I recognize when he sparks; I should follow. After meeting with Shawn, and feeding him some cheesy lines about my philosophy of worship(I'm quite sure they weren't all that inspiring) we agreed that I would simply lead the 3 preview services for them and then, well, whatever....
If you would have told me on that night that I would be where I am on this night, well, let's just say I would have suggested a very thorough psychiactric exam. You see, I have been in tears off and on all day. I am humbled. I am excited. I am awed. I am inspired and I am in love with a crazy, imperfect, love filled, group of misfits for God that call themselves the Crossroadies. For those of you that have kids, do you remember that moment when your son or daughter was about 2 or 3 and you are out in the middle of the street pushing them along on their first bike and you let go and they start peddling all by themselves. Or the first time they write their name or.... well, you get my drift. Most of you have had that moment, right? Well, today was one of those moments for me, but not with my own children. It was with my crossroadies. It happened this morning in the worship set. I began the first song of the worship set, "Heart of Worship" and as I sang the words "When the music fades and all is stripped away," God immediately says to me, "they will see me and not you." A little taken back at the sudden interuption in my flow(Imean seriously, who does God think he is interupting my worship set, GEESH!) I opened my eyes and looked out at the congregation and I immediately broke down. I mean, like, tears streaming, I almost lost it right there. As soon as I saw the people out there I knew exactly what He meant and it touched me beyond words. You get a better since of what I am talking about when you read the song lyric with what God said to me all as one phrase: "When the music fades and all is stripped away, they will see me and not you." The reason that touched me is because a very common prayer of mine is that God would make me and the band invisible so that they can focus on Him. I saw in that moment that these friends were not worshiping with me becasue it is my title and they have to because this is my portion of the service. No, rather, they are worshipping without me completely. Not one eye was on me. I wasn't worshiping for them; we were worshipping together. That gave me a freedom today that I can't explain and rarely experience this fully when I am leading worship. It is like every reservation and "sense of duty" was lifted from my spirit and I decided in that moment it was not me leading them to the throne, it was them leading me. Knowing that I did not have to "perform" to a certain level to receive thier approval allowed me to experience a closeness to God this morning in worship that I haven't felt in quite a while and it is was at the hands of my own congregation. Now, I don't know about other worship leaders, but the biggest compliment I could ever receive has nothing to do with musicianship, or quality of sound, or any of that stuff. The biggest compliment I could receive, is the day in which I can look out at the congregation and through their example, be led in to the presence of God. I became totally invisible to them today and it that was one of my proudest parent moments. In 1 short year I have gone from being confident that I wouldn't stay with this church past the preview services because church plants weren't my thing, to being completely engulfed in this thing we call the Crossroads. And in 1 short year, the Crossroads has gone from staring at me wondering if I am any good, to forgetting that I am even there(In any other evironment I would be fired for that kind of progress in my job). These folks are my friends, my family, and now, my favorite worship leaders(I would take the Crossroadies over Crowder anyday)! I love you guys with all my heart and I thank God everyday for you and your acceptance of me into your family.
P.S.- If the spelling is bad, deal with it! I am tired and going to bed.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
My Story Part 2
Okay, back again for another installment: Days of My Life.
Where did we leave off? Oh yes... The day I found music.
Well as I said I started playing the sax in the 6th grade in Houston and that was my introduction to music. I stayed in Houston(Spring, TX actually, but close enough) until the the end of my 8th grade year. With 6 weeks left in school, my dad's company went down and we had to move once again. I was devastated about this particular move. I had good friends, a girlfriend(my first real crush, among other things), and I had the school band(by this time I was playing in the school honor band, football bleacher band, and jazz band). I begged my parents not to go, but obviously it was a must. so with 6 weeks to go in school I began going to Durant Middle School in Durant, OK population 10,000. Now for some of you, this may seem like a big town, but for a city boy from the Dallas area and Houston area, this was a huge culture shock. To top it all off, I had only 6 weeks to make friends before we entered into the ever so important high school years. My only hope was band and so i joined immediately. Now, coming from a big school, known for their music program I was immediately the talk of the band community and school really, as being the next great musician to come into the school. Also, my mother's family came from Durant and my grandmother was somewhat of a political figure for years in the town and my uncle was currently sheriff of the county. You would think that having instant buzz in the community and favor from the band directors would give me a leg up, but then you wouldn't know how smaller schools work. In smaller schools most of the kids grew up together and getting into a circle is hard enough, and now I am tagged as the kid trying to come in and steal the show. This made finding friends a little harder and made me a little more insecure. Luckily by this point, I was used to being the new guy and by the time summer rolled around and summer band marching training rolled around, I was able to find a few friends in the band that were older upper classmen and took to me pretty well. Those last 6 weeks and the summer after my eighth grade year were tough, especially considering the fact that I didn't want to be there in the first place, but this is also where I met another mentor in my life, my future high school band director, John Parnell. I will never forget walking into the band hall the first day of school in Durant and there stood my middle school band director(which is to be expected considering this was the middle school), but also the high school band director. He had come to the school just to meet me and talk with me a little. He was brash and scary looking and I was completely intimidated and yet i was immediately drawn to him. Now remember, I come from an area that the middle schools filter into 2 high schools in the area both with average graduating classes of over 1,000. I didn't even know the high school band directors name at my other school, I certainly never got a visit from him just so he could meet me and talk with me a little while. I had no clue at the time how much this man would influence my musical passion, and how much I would very much miss him after he died. So I survived the middle school years and looking back on those years I realize that music had become my "thing." I didn't realize it at the time because I was caught up in the typical middle school drama, but I realize now that starting then and carrying on even now, music and especially playing music was my solice, my hiding place. It was that one thing that was honest about me and I could take refuge there, playing my sax and no one could influence that. My music was the one place that I could set aside my insecurity about being excepted and just be me. By this point in my life, no one(except maybe my mom) knew the real person I was because I had been so good at being whoever I needed to be. It was hard, certainly at that age, to always put on a face for everyone, but that was not necessary when I played music. I guess you could say music was my best and closest friend.
And then came high school!
Where did we leave off? Oh yes... The day I found music.
Well as I said I started playing the sax in the 6th grade in Houston and that was my introduction to music. I stayed in Houston(Spring, TX actually, but close enough) until the the end of my 8th grade year. With 6 weeks left in school, my dad's company went down and we had to move once again. I was devastated about this particular move. I had good friends, a girlfriend(my first real crush, among other things), and I had the school band(by this time I was playing in the school honor band, football bleacher band, and jazz band). I begged my parents not to go, but obviously it was a must. so with 6 weeks to go in school I began going to Durant Middle School in Durant, OK population 10,000. Now for some of you, this may seem like a big town, but for a city boy from the Dallas area and Houston area, this was a huge culture shock. To top it all off, I had only 6 weeks to make friends before we entered into the ever so important high school years. My only hope was band and so i joined immediately. Now, coming from a big school, known for their music program I was immediately the talk of the band community and school really, as being the next great musician to come into the school. Also, my mother's family came from Durant and my grandmother was somewhat of a political figure for years in the town and my uncle was currently sheriff of the county. You would think that having instant buzz in the community and favor from the band directors would give me a leg up, but then you wouldn't know how smaller schools work. In smaller schools most of the kids grew up together and getting into a circle is hard enough, and now I am tagged as the kid trying to come in and steal the show. This made finding friends a little harder and made me a little more insecure. Luckily by this point, I was used to being the new guy and by the time summer rolled around and summer band marching training rolled around, I was able to find a few friends in the band that were older upper classmen and took to me pretty well. Those last 6 weeks and the summer after my eighth grade year were tough, especially considering the fact that I didn't want to be there in the first place, but this is also where I met another mentor in my life, my future high school band director, John Parnell. I will never forget walking into the band hall the first day of school in Durant and there stood my middle school band director(which is to be expected considering this was the middle school), but also the high school band director. He had come to the school just to meet me and talk with me a little. He was brash and scary looking and I was completely intimidated and yet i was immediately drawn to him. Now remember, I come from an area that the middle schools filter into 2 high schools in the area both with average graduating classes of over 1,000. I didn't even know the high school band directors name at my other school, I certainly never got a visit from him just so he could meet me and talk with me a little while. I had no clue at the time how much this man would influence my musical passion, and how much I would very much miss him after he died. So I survived the middle school years and looking back on those years I realize that music had become my "thing." I didn't realize it at the time because I was caught up in the typical middle school drama, but I realize now that starting then and carrying on even now, music and especially playing music was my solice, my hiding place. It was that one thing that was honest about me and I could take refuge there, playing my sax and no one could influence that. My music was the one place that I could set aside my insecurity about being excepted and just be me. By this point in my life, no one(except maybe my mom) knew the real person I was because I had been so good at being whoever I needed to be. It was hard, certainly at that age, to always put on a face for everyone, but that was not necessary when I played music. I guess you could say music was my best and closest friend.
And then came high school!
By the way, with a few teachers reading this, please forgive the grammatical and spelling errors. this was the one thing my english teachers used to complain about and it never got better.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My Story Part 1
I have been sitting at my computer for the last 10 minutes staring at this blank screen trying to figure out what it is today that God would have me say that might give the followers of this blog some kind of insight into where I am at at this point in my journey and I was blank.
As I prayed that God would give me words to say or a story to tell that might express my current situation, a thought occurred to me. How can I expect people to understand where I am currently at in my life and in my faith and in my walk, if you haven't yet heard how I got here.
I think most of you have caught glimpses into my past, but I have really never shared with any of you my testimony. I know so much about each of you as you have been completely open about who you used to be and how you have changed, so I guess it is my turn. My prayer for you as you read this is not to feel empathy or guilt or shame for me or my past because the truth is; I have learned not only to accept who I was, but also to embrace it. My past, both the good and the bad are a part of who I am and I thank God for the triumphs in my life but even more so for the failures. If we never experience what it is like to fall, then we will never have the courage to keep walking. So I pray that God will give you an understanding through this blog of who I am and through that, I hope you would find some kind of hope in knowing that God is here. Even when you are not seeking Him. He hears you. He sees you. He loves you and he will do what it takes to change your life. He will bring you to the brink if He has too, but he will change you.
I have decided to make this a series. I will give you my story a piece at a time. Some parts may be boring to you. Heck, the whole thing may be boring to you. But continue to tune in and you may find something in this that you didn't know about me.
The juicy stuff doesn't start until high school so bear with me. I had a pretty easy go of it until that point. I had a normal childhood, never really wanted for anything. some would go as far as to say I was spoiled and that is not entirely untrue. Being the youngest of three, the only boy, and I wasn't supposed to happen, this adds up to a bit of silver spoon syndrome. I was saved when I was 8 at New Hope Baptist Church in Aubrey, TX. Truth, is I don't remember it at all except for the baptism, and the only reason I remember that is because I was terrified to be dunked under the water. I just took my mom's word for it that both her and the pastor talked to me and I seemed at the time to understand why I walked the isle(A real life changing moment, eh). I suppose it was not life changing because I never followed up on it. Not too long after that we started a series of moves that lasted until high school and so I guess we never really got settled in enough to get involved in another church. Throughout my childhood I attended 7 different schools a total of 11 different times. Yes, I know it doesn't add up. I left and came back a couple of times. I have lived in Little Elm, TX/ Durant, OK/ Omaha, NE/ Houston, TX/ Rowlette, TX and I think that is it. I know you are asking why I am telling you this. It is to preface the fact that I became quite the actor. When you are going into a new school, if you do not fit in immediately you are cast aside quickly and so I learned how to adapt to the people around me and basically become who they were, or at least someone they would like.
My life after elementary school was all about making people like me to the point that somewhere along the way I developed some pretty big self confidence issues. My entire being revolved around what people thought of me. In looking back now, the cool part about this time in my life is realizing that even though God was not a thought in my head, He still had a plan for me and intended on carrying that plan out despite my lack of hearing. Let me explain. I do not come from a musical family. In fact, other than an uncle or cousin here and there that played in a bar band one time, no one in my family plays music, sings, or can really even carry a tune very well at all. And yet, out of the blue, my 6th grade year, I told my mother that I wanted to join the band and play saxophone. She was somewhat taken back by this as was I. Remember, I have developed some self consciousness at this point and throwing myself head first into a new group of people that were doing something that I had never attempted or really had a desire to do before was not a common thing for me. None of my friends at the time were in the band and I really didn't know anyone that played an instrument. Needless to say, terrified, I went to the band director and told her that I wanted to play saxophone. At first, she said that the sax class was full but that I could play trombone. I agreed but was really bummed(I really wanted to play sax. Didn't know why, I just was drawn to that instrument). Anyway, after I had left, the band director called my mom later that day and told how she had noticed how bummed I was about not getting to play sax. She agreed to a pot for me in the class. she actually had to get it approved with the principal to do so and yet she was willing to do that without knowing me. I still play sax to this day, and it was that moment that my passion for music, that later became a passion for worshipping God, was born. I still remember the band director that saw something in me and agreed to let me into her class. Her name was Susan Eisenson. She moved to NC after I had moved away from Houston and I was never able to track her down, but I would love to someday tell her what she did for me that day and throughout the next 2 years and ask her what led her to go to the trouble for a kid she didn't know. Anyway, it is so humbling now to see that God had that day planned out from the moment I was conceived(before then actually. And he was going to make sure that on that day everything worked according to His will for my life. That was a defining day in my life that I will never forget.
to be continued.........
As I prayed that God would give me words to say or a story to tell that might express my current situation, a thought occurred to me. How can I expect people to understand where I am currently at in my life and in my faith and in my walk, if you haven't yet heard how I got here.
I think most of you have caught glimpses into my past, but I have really never shared with any of you my testimony. I know so much about each of you as you have been completely open about who you used to be and how you have changed, so I guess it is my turn. My prayer for you as you read this is not to feel empathy or guilt or shame for me or my past because the truth is; I have learned not only to accept who I was, but also to embrace it. My past, both the good and the bad are a part of who I am and I thank God for the triumphs in my life but even more so for the failures. If we never experience what it is like to fall, then we will never have the courage to keep walking. So I pray that God will give you an understanding through this blog of who I am and through that, I hope you would find some kind of hope in knowing that God is here. Even when you are not seeking Him. He hears you. He sees you. He loves you and he will do what it takes to change your life. He will bring you to the brink if He has too, but he will change you.
I have decided to make this a series. I will give you my story a piece at a time. Some parts may be boring to you. Heck, the whole thing may be boring to you. But continue to tune in and you may find something in this that you didn't know about me.
The juicy stuff doesn't start until high school so bear with me. I had a pretty easy go of it until that point. I had a normal childhood, never really wanted for anything. some would go as far as to say I was spoiled and that is not entirely untrue. Being the youngest of three, the only boy, and I wasn't supposed to happen, this adds up to a bit of silver spoon syndrome. I was saved when I was 8 at New Hope Baptist Church in Aubrey, TX. Truth, is I don't remember it at all except for the baptism, and the only reason I remember that is because I was terrified to be dunked under the water. I just took my mom's word for it that both her and the pastor talked to me and I seemed at the time to understand why I walked the isle(A real life changing moment, eh). I suppose it was not life changing because I never followed up on it. Not too long after that we started a series of moves that lasted until high school and so I guess we never really got settled in enough to get involved in another church. Throughout my childhood I attended 7 different schools a total of 11 different times. Yes, I know it doesn't add up. I left and came back a couple of times. I have lived in Little Elm, TX/ Durant, OK/ Omaha, NE/ Houston, TX/ Rowlette, TX and I think that is it. I know you are asking why I am telling you this. It is to preface the fact that I became quite the actor. When you are going into a new school, if you do not fit in immediately you are cast aside quickly and so I learned how to adapt to the people around me and basically become who they were, or at least someone they would like.
My life after elementary school was all about making people like me to the point that somewhere along the way I developed some pretty big self confidence issues. My entire being revolved around what people thought of me. In looking back now, the cool part about this time in my life is realizing that even though God was not a thought in my head, He still had a plan for me and intended on carrying that plan out despite my lack of hearing. Let me explain. I do not come from a musical family. In fact, other than an uncle or cousin here and there that played in a bar band one time, no one in my family plays music, sings, or can really even carry a tune very well at all. And yet, out of the blue, my 6th grade year, I told my mother that I wanted to join the band and play saxophone. She was somewhat taken back by this as was I. Remember, I have developed some self consciousness at this point and throwing myself head first into a new group of people that were doing something that I had never attempted or really had a desire to do before was not a common thing for me. None of my friends at the time were in the band and I really didn't know anyone that played an instrument. Needless to say, terrified, I went to the band director and told her that I wanted to play saxophone. At first, she said that the sax class was full but that I could play trombone. I agreed but was really bummed(I really wanted to play sax. Didn't know why, I just was drawn to that instrument). Anyway, after I had left, the band director called my mom later that day and told how she had noticed how bummed I was about not getting to play sax. She agreed to a pot for me in the class. she actually had to get it approved with the principal to do so and yet she was willing to do that without knowing me. I still play sax to this day, and it was that moment that my passion for music, that later became a passion for worshipping God, was born. I still remember the band director that saw something in me and agreed to let me into her class. Her name was Susan Eisenson. She moved to NC after I had moved away from Houston and I was never able to track her down, but I would love to someday tell her what she did for me that day and throughout the next 2 years and ask her what led her to go to the trouble for a kid she didn't know. Anyway, it is so humbling now to see that God had that day planned out from the moment I was conceived(before then actually. And he was going to make sure that on that day everything worked according to His will for my life. That was a defining day in my life that I will never forget.
to be continued.........
Monday, January 19, 2009
Now back to the inaguration
Now that the introductions have been made, let me get to my thoughts for the day.
As I turn on the TV, open the paper, check out the latest articles on Yahoo homepage, I am hit in the face at every turn with the inaguration of our next president Barrack Obama. At first, I was overcome with annoyence(is that a word) at the fact that the media insists on shoving this man, whom I did not vote for, down my throat and in my face, every moment of every day. I can still hear myself telling my wife last night, "We get it! He is the first black president in US history! Can we move on already!" and then this morning as I began to complain again, God laid a very clear message on my heart. No, we can't just move on simply because he was not our pick for president. I do not agree with this man on....well... anything really, but the fact is that tomorrow's inaguration is about more than just, the economy, healthcare, the wars, or government spending. For a few hours tomorrow the world will witness something happen in the United States that my generation has not seen for quite some time, if ever. As this man, raises his hand and places the other on the Bible, and promises before God and country to do his best to lead this great nation, the world will witness the United States stepping out once again as a leader among nations. Tomorrow, the United States will once more be able to claim, that no matter what our differences politically, we have the courage to stand together as one people, no matter our race or creed, status or cituation and proclaim to the world that we are nation founded on the principle that "all men are created equal." Today as we celebrate one of the greatest men of God in our nation's history, we are living out his dream that one day our children would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their charater. Tomorrow, we are taking the first big step in making that dream a reality.
Next week you will hear me once again moan and complain about Barrack Obama and where he is leading this country, but not tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be sitting in front of my television with my wife and small children, like so many others in this country and around the world, and I will be watching not with apathy because I do not agree with this man's political views. But rather, with a sense of overwhelming pride that the United States has reached a point in which we can once again be proud to call ourselves Americans.
God Bless
As I turn on the TV, open the paper, check out the latest articles on Yahoo homepage, I am hit in the face at every turn with the inaguration of our next president Barrack Obama. At first, I was overcome with annoyence(is that a word) at the fact that the media insists on shoving this man, whom I did not vote for, down my throat and in my face, every moment of every day. I can still hear myself telling my wife last night, "We get it! He is the first black president in US history! Can we move on already!" and then this morning as I began to complain again, God laid a very clear message on my heart. No, we can't just move on simply because he was not our pick for president. I do not agree with this man on....well... anything really, but the fact is that tomorrow's inaguration is about more than just, the economy, healthcare, the wars, or government spending. For a few hours tomorrow the world will witness something happen in the United States that my generation has not seen for quite some time, if ever. As this man, raises his hand and places the other on the Bible, and promises before God and country to do his best to lead this great nation, the world will witness the United States stepping out once again as a leader among nations. Tomorrow, the United States will once more be able to claim, that no matter what our differences politically, we have the courage to stand together as one people, no matter our race or creed, status or cituation and proclaim to the world that we are nation founded on the principle that "all men are created equal." Today as we celebrate one of the greatest men of God in our nation's history, we are living out his dream that one day our children would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their charater. Tomorrow, we are taking the first big step in making that dream a reality.
Next week you will hear me once again moan and complain about Barrack Obama and where he is leading this country, but not tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be sitting in front of my television with my wife and small children, like so many others in this country and around the world, and I will be watching not with apathy because I do not agree with this man's political views. But rather, with a sense of overwhelming pride that the United States has reached a point in which we can once again be proud to call ourselves Americans.
God Bless
Inaguaral blog on the eve of the inaguration
What up world?
Let me introduce myself. My name is Robby. I am 30 years old. I have a beautiful wife(seriously, beautiful. I married way out of my league) and I have 2 absolutely wonderful children, 1 boy: Reid, he is 4 and 1 girl: Emery, she is 3. I live in Sherman, TX and work fulltime in Dallas, in insurance software sales(don't yawn, it pays the bills). My "real" job is as the worship pastor for the Crossroads Community Church, in Anna, TX.
Okay, enough about who I am, now let's talk about this blog thing. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. there is no real purpose for why i am blogging and I am not really organized in my thoughts. So with all that being said, I can't tell you what you are going to get out of this blog from day to day, because chances are, I don't know from day to day what my A.D.D. head is going to be thinking from one moment to the next. Basically what I am trying to tell you is, don't expect much. Just me, in all my lack of glory, trying to asign words to the thoughts in my head. It may be worship related. It may be music related. It could be Spiritual. It could be political, or even pop cultural.
For those fo you who know me well, I hope this blog will give you a glimpse of insight into how my brain operates. And for those of you who don't know me well.......well, I apologize!
Let me introduce myself. My name is Robby. I am 30 years old. I have a beautiful wife(seriously, beautiful. I married way out of my league) and I have 2 absolutely wonderful children, 1 boy: Reid, he is 4 and 1 girl: Emery, she is 3. I live in Sherman, TX and work fulltime in Dallas, in insurance software sales(don't yawn, it pays the bills). My "real" job is as the worship pastor for the Crossroads Community Church, in Anna, TX.
Okay, enough about who I am, now let's talk about this blog thing. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. there is no real purpose for why i am blogging and I am not really organized in my thoughts. So with all that being said, I can't tell you what you are going to get out of this blog from day to day, because chances are, I don't know from day to day what my A.D.D. head is going to be thinking from one moment to the next. Basically what I am trying to tell you is, don't expect much. Just me, in all my lack of glory, trying to asign words to the thoughts in my head. It may be worship related. It may be music related. It could be Spiritual. It could be political, or even pop cultural.
For those fo you who know me well, I hope this blog will give you a glimpse of insight into how my brain operates. And for those of you who don't know me well.......well, I apologize!
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